John John?
Oui. Je suis John John.
Thought the actual competition has yet to begin, we here at bearded wanted to give an update on everyone’s favorite French pseudo-competitor, John John (now pronounced, Jean Jean). We’ll let the picture take it from here…
James’ Blade: Norelco 7735X Cool Skin Lotion Dispensing Razor
Long considered the option for the fairest of them all, this electric razor receives a very generous shot of estrogen by also dispensing skin lotion to lessen the friction between blade and skin. It doesn’t cut as close as a standard razor, but in true James fashion, safety first.
Ben’s Axe: Gillette Mach 3
A classic for any boy growing to become a man in the mid-to-late nineties. Turn up the Matchbox 20 and be ready for the comeback of the three parallel cuts on inexperienced chins, because the Mach 3 is the weapon of choice for Benjamin Bishop
bearded is contagious! With no prior knowledge of the site, John John—our American Werewolf in Paris—has accidentally joined the facial arms race. Welcome, our hairy friend from across the pond.
Recognize interwebs, bearded’s going global…
Though the challenge is for an entire calendar month, the period of competition does not actually begin until I declare it’s start. Keep visiting us here at bearded as we keep you abreast on the challenge that is going to, literally, change the face of competition amongst friends forever for a month.
Welcome to bearded.
Meet Ben.
Ben is comfortable enough in his masculinity to put on eye liner and dress up as Bret Michaels, but he’s also the guy that took the time to make realistic looking Rock of Love “VIP Passes” on Adobe Photoshop. He has a penchant for raising stakes when the times may call to lower them (for this, bearded thanks you), and he once drunkenly badgered an IHOP waitress for not understanding that his choice between bacon and sausage was “WHEAT.”
If this competition is to be judged solely on the amount of hair grown in a month, Ben has no chance of winning.
Meet James.
He looks harmless, but that’s because he is. His favorite activities are watching VH1 reality shows that have boobies in them and playing Settlers of Catan. He has been known to feign tiredness whenever he’s too scared to keep his eyes open, and was reported to have rick roll’d someone as recently as last week.
James is the odds-on-favorite to win this competition.
bearded was unable to reach James for comment on this piece.
Through the magic of digital photography, we are going to post frequent updates on how the beards of both men are fairing. In the process, we will answer questions that have been on the minds of many of us for years.
Is James’ testosterone so strong as to will his moustache hairs over his mouth? Will Ben even be able to grow a beard? When is Brandon going to make a joke that goes horribly, yet entertainingly wrong, and phone the police to report the possible existence of a child molester in the neighborhood? These questions, and more, will be answered through bearded.
Two friends (Ben and James) lost a bet to another friend (me) in a game of darts (Darts). The two who did not win were made to forge a promise to the victor—neither would shave for one calendar month. This promise, was created by friends enjoying a night of drinking and games amongst their brothers. It was a promise based on good natured self-effacement; a way to laugh at oneself, and share a laugh with each other. It was a promise that was grounded in years of friendship and frivolity.
bearded was created to ensure that neither of these hooligans cheat.
